How can you excel in negotiations?

Use the skills of the top negotiators. Those who repel strikes, close million-dollar deals or release hostages. 

What is it they do:

Keep calm.Philleas Fogg, the hero of Jules Vernes' Journey around the World in 80 Days, remained imperturbable and calm while putting all his resources into a very perilous endeavour. But it was his outer peace and inner control that meant his salvation and victory. Limit the desire.Epicurus found: “No desire is bad in itself. It is only if it turns out that later on there are such serious consequences that you have to consider whether it is worthwhile. Distance yourself from your decision in time and space. Limit dependence.The more you need the negotiated, the more difficult it becomes to negotiate it properly. Make the exercise what it would be like to completely distance yourself from the object of the negotiation. Work out a scenario how you could continue without it. Also practice your psychological rejection. Negotiate with the mandated.Only negotiate with the person who can make the decision. If you negotiate an agreement with someone who cannot take the plunge, you run the risk that you are stuck with your agreement and that the other party will come back with changes and additions from above. Understand the opposing party. Generaal Montgomery sliep tijdens de slag van El Alamein in de Tweede Wereldoorlog met een biografie van zijn tegenstander Rommel onder zijn hoofdkussen. De Duitsers hadden zelfs een volledig onderzoeksteam dat generaal Patton nauwkeurig volgde. Stay honest.Be bold, quick, but always fair. Even if the opposing party relies on improper practices, lies and deceit. Stick to your decency. Partially reveal.While you remain completely honest, it is sometimes appropriate that you do not always reveal the full truth. Do not throw all cards on the table immediately. Indicate that you cannot yet disclose certain information or claim confidentiality Don't accept anything by default.Many large institutions and companies present you with a contract that is supposed to be standard. A standard contract does not exist. A contract is a voluntary agreement between parties. Feel free to ask for and demand omissions, additions and changes. Sometimes it is better not to sign a contract than one that you are dissatisfied with. Enter into conflict.Friedrich Nietsche wrote, "All the good in the world comes about because the strong overcome the weak." All improvements come from dissatisfaction with what there is. Don't shy away from conflicts, they are part of the way to results. Keep them neat, short, not personal and goal-oriented. Fight smart. "It's not about fighting, it's about defeating," said Horatio Hornblower in CS Forrester's novel of the same name. A lot of intelligence and only a little strength is the formula with which Odysseus got into Troy, in Homer's Illias. Achilles was much stronger, but Odysseus much smarter. He used a clever plan and a wooden horse to get into Troy.